The Morning After


Monday January 15, 2007

You wake up to your alarm the next morning, blinking the sleep from your eyes. It takes you a few moments before memories of the previous night come flooding back.

Adam.

You look over at his bed, but it’s empty. You quickly set up your computer and check your email and messages. There’s some messages from Janet, but nothing in your inbox.

What if he changed his mind?

Trying to shake the thoughts threatening to invade your mind, you quickly get ready for the first day of the second semester. You feel a bit guilty as you walk out the door, having ignored Janet’s morning greetings, but you’re not sure you’d be able to talk about you and Adam right now.

If there even is an us, right now...


You head back to your dorm at the end of the day with a huge sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, the doubts having had time to fester and grow. The fact that you’d turned down an offer from Jake to play games after classes, somehow, just makes things even worse.

You open the door to the room, anxiously expecting him to be there, and dreading the apology (and subsequent dumping, if a few hours qualifies as a relationship) you’re sure will follow. But the room is empty -- his things seemingly undisturbed -- and you’re not sure if you’re relieved or filled with even more dread that things somehow have ended before they even really began.

You unlock your computer.

CrazyCatLady2588: chris i miss you already :(
CrazyCatLady2588: how was the flight?
CrazyCatLady2588: i see how it is
CrazyCatLady2588: oogling your roomie instead of talking to me? ;)
CrazyCatLady2588: well good night
CrazyCatLady2588 has signed off
CrazyCatLady2588: chrissss are you there?
CrazyCatLady2588: sleeping in or missed your alarm?
CrazyCatLady2588: talk to you after classes i guess
CrazyCatLady2588 has signed off
CrazyCatLady2588: im back and your online now
CrazyCatLady2588: let me know how your day was when your back

After staring at the keyboard for a bit, and trying to decide what you want to say at the moment, you decide you should at least explain your travel issues.

Diocusin: Hey. Sorry.
Diocusin: Last night was a mess. My flight got cancelled.
CrazyCatLady2588: your alive!
Diocusin: And I got in really late.
Diocusin: *you’re
CrazyCatLady2588: oh :(
CrazyCatLady2588: :p
Diocusin: Just went to classes this morning, and just got back.
CrazyCatLady2588: i thought you were ignoring me because you hated me forever
CrazyCatLady2588: jk jk
Diocusin: Haha. Sorry. It’s just been a crazy past 24 hours.

If only you knew the half of it...

CrazyCatLady2588: flight issues are the worst
CrazyCatLady2588: so how were classes?
Diocusin: Like usual, I guess? First day is always the same, it seems.
CrazyCatLady2588: tell me about it
CrazyCatLady2588: syllabuses and introductions
CrazyCatLady2588: syllabi?
Diocusin: Syllabuses, I think, is right.
CrazyCatLady2588: how boring
CrazyCatLady2588: :p
Diocusin: The classes, or the word?
CrazyCatLady2588: :p
CrazyCatLady2588: i should get ready to go soon
CrazyCatLady2588: tom and i are going on a date tonight
CrazyCatLady2588: its nice to see him again
Diocusin: That sounds nice.
CrazyCatLady2588: well find you a nice guy, chris
CrazyCatLady2588: and in the meantime you get to oogle your roomie :p

You stare at the screen, trying to find the right words to tell her, when the opening door catches your attention.

Adam walks through the door, and smiles at you. You take that as a good sign, at least.

“Hey!”

He drops his backpack by his desk, then walks back over to you and stands in front of you, still smiling. For some reason, you notice Carlos isn’t with him, and feel like that fact is significant, somehow.

“Sorry to disappear on you this morning, especially after our conversation last night. I guess I was just too distracted, and forgot to set my alarm, so I woke up late for my first class this morning.”

You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding, and he seems to notice your relief, because he frowns, and kneels next to your chair.

“Dude, are you okay? What’s wro...”

Realization seems to dawn on him, because he suddenly looks extremely guilty. “Shit. You didn’t think that I’d... no, you probably did. And that’s fair. If my, uh... if my boyfriend disappeared on me the morning after confessing a secret crush on me that threw his entire, uh... sexuality into question, I’d probably freak out too.”

You swallow, hard, at the word boyfriend and stare into his eyes, now level with yours. “Are you... my boyfriend? Now?”

He laughs at that, and you can feel yourself start to relax. “I’m pretty sure we established that last night, dude. But yes. As I said, I can’t promise anything, but I’m not having doubts that this, uh... that this feels right. Well, I guess I can promise that I’ll always be honest with you, and talk to you about us. I guess this is new for both of us, anyway, so let’s just... make sure we talk.” He shrugs and smiles, embarrassed this time. “Also I’m, uh... I’m going to need to kiss you again.”

You can barely manage to nod before his hands grab your head and the two of you find each other, needily. All of your worry and apprehension seems to melt away, and you feel like kissing Adam is probably the best thing ever.

A knock at the door forces you apart, and Adam almost falls backward. His face is flushed, and you’re not sure if it’s from the kiss or his embarrassment. Carlos is standing in the open doorway, grinning at the two of you.

“Well, that answers that question. Didn’t see you at lunch today, chico, so I figured I’d stop by, but I guess this means you two have dinner plans already.”

“I, uh... I owe Chris a proper date, or something. Unless you want to jo...”

“No, no. You go spend time with your boy.” Adam blushes at that. “But tomorrow, we’re gonna eat all the pizza, dude. It’ll be like break all over again.”

“Dude. We had pizza like once over the break.”

“And we ate all of it. Speaking of all of it, be safe, both of you, and I’ll see you tomorrow. Buena suerte, mis amigos.” He winks at you and is gone, closing the door behind him, and you’re pretty sure your face is now red, too. 

Adam clears his throat and stands, stretching, and you stare at the sliver of skin as his shirt rides up. He notices your gaze and laughs.

“That’s for later.” He stops and frowns. “I mean, uh... not that we have to do anything. It’s, uh... Not that I would necessarily mind if you w... I mean, I... I’m gonna shut up now.”

He busies himself with his backpack, pulling out some books and rearranging his desk. You’re sure he’s aware of your presence, but still jumps when you tentatively wrap your arms around him from behind. He turns around, facing you, and smiles, apologetically.

“Sorry. I’m just... nervous. I was never good at this, and this is just, uh... weirder than usual for me. Not that this is should be weird. I mean, I just...” He sighs and shakes his head. “Okay, I’m going to kiss you again.”

This time is slower, and his hands find their way under your shirt and up your back as he pulls you against him. He’s hard, again, and you can feel him against you like last night. You’re pretty sure he can tell how turned on you are, as well, but somehow it’s more exciting than embarrassing.

He breaks, laying his forehead on yours, eyes closed and smiling. “Sorry. I just... keep having this need to touch you, for some reason.”

“I mind that as little as humanly possible.”

He laughs and kisses you again.

“So. I guess it’s a little early for food, but I have some reading I kind of want to finish up. Then dinner and... well, I’d say dinner and a movie, except I never really understood people going to movies on dates, because you don’t really get to interact with your date. Then dinner and Tetrinet?”

“That sounds perfect.”